Thursday, December 18, 2008
Julia
Hello, I am Julia, the medic with the undead rat (a strange and magical construct of clay and fake fur called Tibbles). I have an odd sense of humour and should probably never be left in the kitchen by myself as so far we have had a 2kg cornflake cake in a washing up bowl and black cookies.
Friday, December 5, 2008
End of Michaelmas 2008
Today, the 5th December, is the official end of Michaelmas Full Term (which is shorter than just "Term", of course) 2008. The Newnham Fresher Medics Class of '11 (or '14, if you're counting our three years of clinical medicine, which may or may not be spent in Cambridge...) have therefore survived their first term.
What have we learnt?
That it is possible to mix lay and anatomical terminology: "lateral to the bumcrack" is fine.
That it is always best to keep all thoughts of food out of your mind while wielding a scalpel on a cadaver, otherwise said foodstuffs will be ruined forever.
That no matter how much washing powder you put in, your anatomy labcoat will never stop smelling of formaldehyde.
That once Felicity's room has become untidy, it is frankly unlikely she will find time to tidy it before the end of term, unless she has significant inducement to do so (for which read: someone might see it, and she might care what they think).
That, as a general rule, it is impossible to learn BioChemistry in less than two hours.
That life is never as simple as it looks from the outside.
That medics apparently can have social lives, and generally look kick-ass good in their dresses.
That the Cambridge Union is the coolest place in Cambridge.
That red heels equal free drinks, in the right set of circumstances.
That nothing is so bad it wouldn't get worse if one of your supervisors set you an extra essay to write.
That one should never ask about Tibbles.
That lectures are much, much more fun if there is the possibility we'll get to watch one of the Anatomy Demonstrators dislocate a fellow student's shoulder.
That there is no phrase more awesome than either "two-for-one cocktails tonight" or "his moobs are twitching", but you have to pick the right one for the situation.
That the less interested you are, the more interesting you become.
That the answer is nearly always the ulnar nerve.
That you do not mess with the brachial plexus.
That it is a bad idea to lose one's College card, and sadly, one's Union membership card will not always stand in as a substitute.
That a week in Cambridge is more eventful than the average month out of it.
That the forecast is always wrong when it says it will snow, and the snow will settle.
That it doesn't rain in Cambridge, but it pours.
That the medics always start their lectures first, and finish last.
That just because you're working the hardest of any student group in the area doesn't mean you're not having more fun.
That being a medical student makes it automatically ok in the eyes of every desperate male to use "I need an examination" chat-up lines.
That much older men bearing mistletoe at Christmas parties can be quite hard to shake off, and are best avoided in the first place.
That is is actually moderately good fun to spend an evening hiding behind other people so that much older men don't see you.
That spending the evening hiding from much older men is actually conducive to attracting more men of a more suitable age.
I suspect that life is going to seem quite dull when I get home (no offence to my friends back home, of course) - in comparison, nothing will be happening! Also, although I've known the medics and other Newnhamites eight weeks total, I'm going to miss them as much as I miss my friends from home at the moment.
Have a great Christmas, everyone, and wish us good luck with catching up on all the work we should have been doing this term. It would be quite nice to start next term ahead...
Love, Felicity xx
What have we learnt?
That it is possible to mix lay and anatomical terminology: "lateral to the bumcrack" is fine.
That it is always best to keep all thoughts of food out of your mind while wielding a scalpel on a cadaver, otherwise said foodstuffs will be ruined forever.
That no matter how much washing powder you put in, your anatomy labcoat will never stop smelling of formaldehyde.
That once Felicity's room has become untidy, it is frankly unlikely she will find time to tidy it before the end of term, unless she has significant inducement to do so (for which read: someone might see it, and she might care what they think).
That, as a general rule, it is impossible to learn BioChemistry in less than two hours.
That life is never as simple as it looks from the outside.
That medics apparently can have social lives, and generally look kick-ass good in their dresses.
That the Cambridge Union is the coolest place in Cambridge.
That red heels equal free drinks, in the right set of circumstances.
That nothing is so bad it wouldn't get worse if one of your supervisors set you an extra essay to write.
That one should never ask about Tibbles.
That lectures are much, much more fun if there is the possibility we'll get to watch one of the Anatomy Demonstrators dislocate a fellow student's shoulder.
That there is no phrase more awesome than either "two-for-one cocktails tonight" or "his moobs are twitching", but you have to pick the right one for the situation.
That the less interested you are, the more interesting you become.
That the answer is nearly always the ulnar nerve.
That you do not mess with the brachial plexus.
That it is a bad idea to lose one's College card, and sadly, one's Union membership card will not always stand in as a substitute.
That a week in Cambridge is more eventful than the average month out of it.
That the forecast is always wrong when it says it will snow, and the snow will settle.
That it doesn't rain in Cambridge, but it pours.
That the medics always start their lectures first, and finish last.
That just because you're working the hardest of any student group in the area doesn't mean you're not having more fun.
That being a medical student makes it automatically ok in the eyes of every desperate male to use "I need an examination" chat-up lines.
That much older men bearing mistletoe at Christmas parties can be quite hard to shake off, and are best avoided in the first place.
That is is actually moderately good fun to spend an evening hiding behind other people so that much older men don't see you.
That spending the evening hiding from much older men is actually conducive to attracting more men of a more suitable age.
I suspect that life is going to seem quite dull when I get home (no offence to my friends back home, of course) - in comparison, nothing will be happening! Also, although I've known the medics and other Newnhamites eight weeks total, I'm going to miss them as much as I miss my friends from home at the moment.
Have a great Christmas, everyone, and wish us good luck with catching up on all the work we should have been doing this term. It would be quite nice to start next term ahead...
Love, Felicity xx
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Quotations
We've come across many of these, most of which require recording for future embarrassment (after all, we have to have something to write on the medic hoodies when we get them). So, without further ado, our favourite quotes so far:
'I want to be reincarnated as an amoeba'
'Everyone else appears to be cutting lateral to the bumcrack'
'It was anatomy...until Felicity arrived and made it into porn'
I'm sure I'll get round to updating this as soon as I remember the others...
Added on 03/02/2009:
"Would you like your birthday announced to a roomful of dead bodies?"
"Warning: these poisons are poisonous!"
"Be aware that the reset patient function is not available in clinical situations."
"I have to kill myself to start again."
"I'm wearing an anatomically correct heart around my neck...what did you expect?!"
(From Juno) "Why can't I just have the frickin' epidural already?!" "Because doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch other people suffer."
"You might have reached the stage of hypothermia where you start removing clothing." "Stripothermia?"
"From this, we conclude that although I can write HOM essays and answer MIMS MCQs, I am incapable of dressing myself appropriately." "By the law of natural selection, you should be dead by now."
"What do we reckon: essays>men?" "Well, essays- because you do them and then they're gone...though that may occasionally apply to men as well..."
"I just had a revelation: medics are the only group of people for which the phrase 'I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair' can be LITERALLY true."
"It doesn't smell very nice..." "You wouldn't expect it to- it's a dead person."
"The spleen isn't part of the gastrointestinal tract, but it is included here as a regional convenience."
Added beginning of Easter term 2009:
"Oh, I've missed Cambridge tap water. It's so disgusting."
"...my other arm. Other than the other two that I have. My third arm." "When was the last time you opened Gray's?"
"You are aware that a toothbrush is not an effective form of contraception, aren't you?" "So THAT'S why I have two kids!" Yes, yes it is.
03/05/2009: while watching "every sperm is sacred":
"Felicity, please have lots of children so I can teach them this song!"
"Why me?"
"I don't want them!"
Later: "Maybe we could teach our medic children to sing it..."
'I want to be reincarnated as an amoeba'
'Everyone else appears to be cutting lateral to the bumcrack'
'It was anatomy...until Felicity arrived and made it into porn'
I'm sure I'll get round to updating this as soon as I remember the others...
Added on 03/02/2009:
"Would you like your birthday announced to a roomful of dead bodies?"
"Warning: these poisons are poisonous!"
"Be aware that the reset patient function is not available in clinical situations."
"I have to kill myself to start again."
"I'm wearing an anatomically correct heart around my neck...what did you expect?!"
(From Juno) "Why can't I just have the frickin' epidural already?!" "Because doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch other people suffer."
"You might have reached the stage of hypothermia where you start removing clothing." "Stripothermia?"
"From this, we conclude that although I can write HOM essays and answer MIMS MCQs, I am incapable of dressing myself appropriately." "By the law of natural selection, you should be dead by now."
"What do we reckon: essays>men?" "Well, essays- because you do them and then they're gone...though that may occasionally apply to men as well..."
"I just had a revelation: medics are the only group of people for which the phrase 'I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair' can be LITERALLY true."
"It doesn't smell very nice..." "You wouldn't expect it to- it's a dead person."
"The spleen isn't part of the gastrointestinal tract, but it is included here as a regional convenience."
Added beginning of Easter term 2009:
"Oh, I've missed Cambridge tap water. It's so disgusting."
"...my other arm. Other than the other two that I have. My third arm." "When was the last time you opened Gray's?"
"You are aware that a toothbrush is not an effective form of contraception, aren't you?" "So THAT'S why I have two kids!" Yes, yes it is.
03/05/2009: while watching "every sperm is sacred":
"Felicity, please have lots of children so I can teach them this song!"
"Why me?"
"I don't want them!"
Later: "Maybe we could teach our medic children to sing it..."
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
*guhhh*
I am ill :( this is very sad. What is worse is the fact that, being a medical student, I know that when one has a cold, there is no treatment beyond bed rest and drinking lots of fluids, and so basically all I can do is take painkillers and suffer. Boo for that.
Love,
Felicity
Love,
Felicity
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