I drink an awful lot of tea, often when I have people in my room: I have five different types of tea, and an array of mugs that's at least as good at predicting people's character as star signs are. I also have a kettle - it's something of a family heirloom. I believe it went to university with my mother, and I'm certain my grandmother used it when it was new. It holds just enough water for one mug, and it doesn't have a thermostat in it, so it continues to heat the water until you unplug it, making it really easy to boil over.
Obviously, it would be sensible to buy a kettle which is both larger and has one of these thermostats (such as, say, any kettle you can find or buy anywhere). But here we run into a problem.
This problem is that the guy usually credited with inventing these thermostats is one John C. Taylor, he who designed, had built, paid for and gifted to Corpus the infamous Corpus Clock. There is nothing in Cambridge I hate quite as much as this clock. I cannot bring myself to part with money knowing that some of it will go to his personal fortune, thanks to royalties, and possibly bring about something equally hideous to be given to another institution.
Thoughts, anyone?
Love,
Felicity xxx
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Dumping the Medics
Don't- just don't.
Seeing as when you date one of the Newnham medics, you effectively date all of the Newnham medics, dumping one means that you dump all of them. While this may initially seem like a weight of purified crazy off your shoulders, it also means that you have about 11 vindicitive females after your blood. Vindictive, creative and quite intelligent females...who know about 10 ways to kill you, and many more to cause you pain. Every time the vaguest thought that a relationship might have ended crosses the collective (and it is most definitely collective) mind of the medics, a number of revenge strategies are formulated, each more horrifying and potentially embarrassing than the last, some of which have involved the combination of sellotape, hats and eggs. This was from the fluffy medic...
You have been warned.
Geraldine xxx
Seeing as when you date one of the Newnham medics, you effectively date all of the Newnham medics, dumping one means that you dump all of them. While this may initially seem like a weight of purified crazy off your shoulders, it also means that you have about 11 vindicitive females after your blood. Vindictive, creative and quite intelligent females...who know about 10 ways to kill you, and many more to cause you pain. Every time the vaguest thought that a relationship might have ended crosses the collective (and it is most definitely collective) mind of the medics, a number of revenge strategies are formulated, each more horrifying and potentially embarrassing than the last, some of which have involved the combination of sellotape, hats and eggs. This was from the fluffy medic...
You have been warned.
Geraldine xxx
Friday, April 17, 2009
Lecturers
These are the people who are kinda supposed to be teaching you the majority of the things you'll learn on your course. They come in many varieties, some of whom we have already come across.
1- The 'Wait, What?' Guy
You read the notes, you go to the lectures, you nod along. You read through the notes later, and realise that absolutely nothing of what he said made any sense to you at all. You might even be under the impression that said lecturer is amazing and perfect...until you try to learn what he taught you.
2- The 'Look What I Did!' Guy
This guy cares very little about teaching you medicine. In fact, he cares little about teaching you anything apart from all the fascinating experiments he was involved in. It doesn't matter to him that these experiments were conducted on snails, and as a doctor you'll mainly be treating people rather than invertebrates- they were very important, and he was involved. If you're lucky enough, he'll even point out to the entire lecture theatre his hideous choice of clothing via an introductory slide including photographs.
3- The 'Look What Cambridge Did!' Guy
Same as above, but talks incessantly about every major medical advance that occurs in Cambridge. Turns out there are a LOT of them. This is actually pretty much every lecturer you'll have.
4- Professor Awesome
The lecture notes explain everything, but you will still attend his lectures simply because he is amazing. They are informative, without giving you useless detail, while actually being hilarious. This accounts for maybe two lecturers you will have.
5- Professor Nearly-Awesome
His lecture notes are practically perfect. His lectures are clear and easy to follow, he tells you exactly what you need to know at a speed you can keep up with, and even finishes early for lunch "because we've done enough for today" sometimes. But there's something...off. His accent is distracting, or he waves his hands around in a way that makes it almost impossible to take him seriously, he plans ahead for his moments of spontaneity, or he makes jokes that just aren't funny. So near to Professor Awesome, and yet so far.
6- The 'Priorities Wrong' Guy
This guy will spend 20 minutes of the lecture telling you how 9 is less than 20, and then rush through the complicated biochemistry he was meant to be teaching you. On checking the lecture notes, you'll find that he only got through half of what he was meant to in that lecture...the half that made sense to you beforehand.
7- Professor Mumbles
Despite the microphone, this lecturer manages to make half of each sentence inaudible - even to those in the second row. The clue here is enunciation, something they just don't teach any more, it would seem. Sometimes a subset of Professor Nearly-Awesome.
8- The "Hang On, Where In The Notes Exactly Is This?" Guy
You're in your lecture, nodding along, writing stuff in margins, and suddenly you realise that you're running out of room because, quite frankly, the overlap between what's being said and what is written seems mostly to be in the use of conjunctions and the occasional noun, rather than content. This is extremely disorientating. Particularly deadly when combined with Professor Mumbles, above.
9- Professor Rockstar
Has the aging rockstar look about him- vague London accent, slightly mad hair and just the right dress sense. One day you will discover that he is actually in a band, and this will make your day.
More to come as we meet them...
Geraldine xxx
1- The 'Wait, What?' Guy
You read the notes, you go to the lectures, you nod along. You read through the notes later, and realise that absolutely nothing of what he said made any sense to you at all. You might even be under the impression that said lecturer is amazing and perfect...until you try to learn what he taught you.
2- The 'Look What I Did!' Guy
This guy cares very little about teaching you medicine. In fact, he cares little about teaching you anything apart from all the fascinating experiments he was involved in. It doesn't matter to him that these experiments were conducted on snails, and as a doctor you'll mainly be treating people rather than invertebrates- they were very important, and he was involved. If you're lucky enough, he'll even point out to the entire lecture theatre his hideous choice of clothing via an introductory slide including photographs.
3- The 'Look What Cambridge Did!' Guy
Same as above, but talks incessantly about every major medical advance that occurs in Cambridge. Turns out there are a LOT of them. This is actually pretty much every lecturer you'll have.
4- Professor Awesome
The lecture notes explain everything, but you will still attend his lectures simply because he is amazing. They are informative, without giving you useless detail, while actually being hilarious. This accounts for maybe two lecturers you will have.
5- Professor Nearly-Awesome
His lecture notes are practically perfect. His lectures are clear and easy to follow, he tells you exactly what you need to know at a speed you can keep up with, and even finishes early for lunch "because we've done enough for today" sometimes. But there's something...off. His accent is distracting, or he waves his hands around in a way that makes it almost impossible to take him seriously, he plans ahead for his moments of spontaneity, or he makes jokes that just aren't funny. So near to Professor Awesome, and yet so far.
6- The 'Priorities Wrong' Guy
This guy will spend 20 minutes of the lecture telling you how 9 is less than 20, and then rush through the complicated biochemistry he was meant to be teaching you. On checking the lecture notes, you'll find that he only got through half of what he was meant to in that lecture...the half that made sense to you beforehand.
7- Professor Mumbles
Despite the microphone, this lecturer manages to make half of each sentence inaudible - even to those in the second row. The clue here is enunciation, something they just don't teach any more, it would seem. Sometimes a subset of Professor Nearly-Awesome.
8- The "Hang On, Where In The Notes Exactly Is This?" Guy
You're in your lecture, nodding along, writing stuff in margins, and suddenly you realise that you're running out of room because, quite frankly, the overlap between what's being said and what is written seems mostly to be in the use of conjunctions and the occasional noun, rather than content. This is extremely disorientating. Particularly deadly when combined with Professor Mumbles, above.
9- Professor Rockstar
Has the aging rockstar look about him- vague London accent, slightly mad hair and just the right dress sense. One day you will discover that he is actually in a band, and this will make your day.
More to come as we meet them...
Geraldine xxx
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
You can learn stuff in the holidays, too
Geraldine and I have both learnt something in the last couple of weeks.
Namely: it's not a great idea to tell people you're going "home" on such-and-such a date when your parents are in the room...and you're currently staying in your parents' house.
Can be hard to remember.
Anyway, I'm going home tomorrow! Joanne's already there, and Julia and Geraldine are joining us on Sunday - can't wait!
Lots of love
Felicity xxx
Geraldine xxx
Namely: it's not a great idea to tell people you're going "home" on such-and-such a date when your parents are in the room...and you're currently staying in your parents' house.
Can be hard to remember.
Anyway, I'm going home tomorrow! Joanne's already there, and Julia and Geraldine are joining us on Sunday - can't wait!
Lots of love
Felicity xxx
Geraldine xxx
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Felicity Does Cultured for an evening!
Hello, everyone!
Last night I was in London to see the musical Wicked, and it was absolutely fantastic - I loved practically every song, and although it wasn't true to the book (which I did read a while back), I still loved the plot and the changes they put in. It did make it a significantly less dark story, but that's quite alright by me - I'd rather not emerge from the theatre wanting to slit my wrists (as I did after seeing Three Sisters in Cambridge)!
Favourite song? Has to be "I'm Not That Girl" - go and YouTube it, trust me, it's worth it. In fact, just go see the musical :)
As an aside: www.spotify.com is wonderful if you can't be bothered to buy music.
Love,
Felicity xxx
Last night I was in London to see the musical Wicked, and it was absolutely fantastic - I loved practically every song, and although it wasn't true to the book (which I did read a while back), I still loved the plot and the changes they put in. It did make it a significantly less dark story, but that's quite alright by me - I'd rather not emerge from the theatre wanting to slit my wrists (as I did after seeing Three Sisters in Cambridge)!
Favourite song? Has to be "I'm Not That Girl" - go and YouTube it, trust me, it's worth it. In fact, just go see the musical :)
As an aside: www.spotify.com is wonderful if you can't be bothered to buy music.
Love,
Felicity xxx
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Dresses
Ahem, this would be the additional post on dresses.
The so awful it's beautiful: This will be a dress, preferably almost evening wear, it is flattering, fits but will almost inevitably skirt the boundaries of being hideous.
The summer dress: This will be both beautiful and flattering with clear summery colours and *just* the right amount of skin visible... however, it is covered in skulls.
The SMEG YES!: This dress will be devastatingly beautiful, it will make you feel like an empress. It will however, not be quite right for evening wear nor day wear, nor the majority of social situations. It will be GOTH. It will have lace and black and fabulousness. It is the sort of dress you just want to moon about in and write poetry in a haze of musky perfume while delicately holding a single blood red rose...
The so awful it's beautiful: This will be a dress, preferably almost evening wear, it is flattering, fits but will almost inevitably skirt the boundaries of being hideous.
The summer dress: This will be both beautiful and flattering with clear summery colours and *just* the right amount of skin visible... however, it is covered in skulls.
The SMEG YES!: This dress will be devastatingly beautiful, it will make you feel like an empress. It will however, not be quite right for evening wear nor day wear, nor the majority of social situations. It will be GOTH. It will have lace and black and fabulousness. It is the sort of dress you just want to moon about in and write poetry in a haze of musky perfume while delicately holding a single blood red rose...
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Dresses
I know that, theoretically, we're in Cambridge to learn stuff in order to help people and junk like that, but this illusion lasts about three days after you originally arrive. The real reason why we are at The University of Cambridge is parties, and (major thing you learn at Cambridge) parties mean dresses.
There are, however, different sorts of dresses, and only one is appropriate for any given event. Allow us to educate you.
Obviously, there are:
- Cocktail dresses
Knee-length or slightly shorter, stunning, and appropriate for anything called a formal or involving drinks. Not appropriate for balls of any description.
- Ball gowns
Longer than a cocktail dress - preferably long (ankle length or longer) and elegant. Makes you look tall and slim and gorgeous because you hide heels underneath. Are a glorious colour (best if just one colour, usually). OTT for drinks, probably ok for a formal if you're wearing your gown and feel like being the best-dressed person there; ideal for balls. Clue's in the name, really.
- Day dresses
Please don't wear these over jeans. We're not talking wrap dresses or slightly-longer-than-average jumpers and tops here, we're talking actual dresses. Go from "hmm, is that a bit short?" length to a little bit below knee-length (be warned: mid-calf length is the LEAST flattering length in existence, and no one other than 6-foot-tall supermodels should try it. It just makes you look short), and are whimsical and cute and girly in the summer, and just great in winter.
- Party dresses
This is like an extra-special cocktail dress. It's sparklier. It's flashier. It's more in-your-face. It cannot be ignored. It is one of your favourite dresses; it's the one you pick for drinks and similar occasions when you want everyone to remember you and your dress. It is fantastic, and just putting it on makes the party start. Remember: when wearing your party dress, everywhere you go is an Event.
- Sun dresses
These are like summer day dresses, only more fun. Think whimsical, girly and cute, with an added dollop of summer. Perfect for, say, punting on the Cam, drinking champagne, eating strawberries and tripping around meadows in the sun. Did I hear someone mutter the word "delusional"?
- Tea gowns
OK, so we haven't actually had a need for one of these yet, but we're sure it's going to happen. It's sheer or translucent, it's pastel, it's flowing, it's between that danger-length of mid-calf and ankle-length (a much better idea), it's for sitting around at home drinking tea in. It sounds wonderful. We tend to drink tea in our dressing gowns, and might have to change this.
- Evening gowns
A slightly less OTT version of a ball gown. It's likely to be more ankle-length, and less sweeping-the-floor-length. This one is perfect for formals, if you don't feel like being the most fabulous person there (why not?), and probably what I would generally choose for drinks (because I do like being the most fabulously overdressed person at any given occasion).
- Pinafore dresses
These are the ones that you wear over a shirt or a polo neck sweater instead of a day dress in winter when you feel like being layered. They're awesome. They remind everyone of '20s school girls. This can only be a good thing.
But these are not the only sorts of dresses. These are not essentials. Obviously, we all want to have as many of each of these as possible, but there are certain Dresses every woman must own.
The Little Black Dress is usually a cocktail dress (hence "little"). It's what you wear to New Years', to drinks, to dinners out, to the theatre, to...well, everything, really. It's gorgeous. It's black. It's stylish and simple and you wear it with killer heels and sparkly jewellery and eye shadow in fantastic colours. It shows off legs and shoulders and possibly back and cleavage, too. It is, frankly, essential.
The Revenge Dress is a tricky one. It is the dress you wear to the first event your new ex might attend. This dress gives you confidence; it makes you fantastic. It shows just exactly the right amount of flesh, accentuates all the bits of you you love, flatters all the bits you love slightly less, and is utterly unforgettable. This is the dress so stunning that every man who sees you in it loves you instantly and every guy who had the chance to be with you forever and wasted it instantly regrets it. Annoyingly, it can vary from ex to ex, and you can only wear it as a revenge dress, so it doesn't get much use - because, obviously, any guy who saw you in your previous revenge dress will hang onto you for as long as he can (provided you have plenty of photos of yourself in said revenge dress, to refresh his memory).
The "What? I just threw this on!" Dress, which you insist you've "had for years" (you probably have) but which you know looks fabulous. This one is not so much an evening dress as a during the day dress - it's for when you accidentally happen to be getting coffee at his favourite coffee shop at the time you know he'll be needing a fix; it's for when you trip into the library to pick up a book you need right now that you've been putting off getting until you know he's working there. It's the one you wear when you're going to see him with the new girlfriend and you want to look stunning without looking like you've put any effort in.
The "Covers All Sins" Dress for when you're feeling unattractive and possibly slightly bloated and you need something extremely flattering and bright to draw everyone's attention away from your complexion and general demeanour. The less said about this one, the better...it is necessary, but we like to pretend it doesn't exist.
The Princess Dress makes you feel like a princess. What's more, it makes everyone around you treat you like one. This is the one you get given free cocktails in. This is the one you accessorise with a tiara.
We will add more to this as we go on and discover more dresses we cannot do without. Obviously, every woman needs a cocktail dress, a ball gown, and a party dress, at least, plus a couple of day dresses or sun dresses...but these are less specific.
While we're on the subject of being dressed up: the walk of shame. Please, if you're going to do this, at least make sure the dress you do it in is one that will still look good after being left in a crumpled heap all night, and makes it obvious that whatever it was you attended last night, it was one hell of a party. The closer to white-tie equivalent you get, the more points you get. Remember: everyone does this once while at university. Make your once fantastic.
Love,
Felicity xxx
There are, however, different sorts of dresses, and only one is appropriate for any given event. Allow us to educate you.
Obviously, there are:
- Cocktail dresses
Knee-length or slightly shorter, stunning, and appropriate for anything called a formal or involving drinks. Not appropriate for balls of any description.
- Ball gowns
Longer than a cocktail dress - preferably long (ankle length or longer) and elegant. Makes you look tall and slim and gorgeous because you hide heels underneath. Are a glorious colour (best if just one colour, usually). OTT for drinks, probably ok for a formal if you're wearing your gown and feel like being the best-dressed person there; ideal for balls. Clue's in the name, really.
- Day dresses
Please don't wear these over jeans. We're not talking wrap dresses or slightly-longer-than-average jumpers and tops here, we're talking actual dresses. Go from "hmm, is that a bit short?" length to a little bit below knee-length (be warned: mid-calf length is the LEAST flattering length in existence, and no one other than 6-foot-tall supermodels should try it. It just makes you look short), and are whimsical and cute and girly in the summer, and just great in winter.
- Party dresses
This is like an extra-special cocktail dress. It's sparklier. It's flashier. It's more in-your-face. It cannot be ignored. It is one of your favourite dresses; it's the one you pick for drinks and similar occasions when you want everyone to remember you and your dress. It is fantastic, and just putting it on makes the party start. Remember: when wearing your party dress, everywhere you go is an Event.
- Sun dresses
These are like summer day dresses, only more fun. Think whimsical, girly and cute, with an added dollop of summer. Perfect for, say, punting on the Cam, drinking champagne, eating strawberries and tripping around meadows in the sun. Did I hear someone mutter the word "delusional"?
- Tea gowns
OK, so we haven't actually had a need for one of these yet, but we're sure it's going to happen. It's sheer or translucent, it's pastel, it's flowing, it's between that danger-length of mid-calf and ankle-length (a much better idea), it's for sitting around at home drinking tea in. It sounds wonderful. We tend to drink tea in our dressing gowns, and might have to change this.
- Evening gowns
A slightly less OTT version of a ball gown. It's likely to be more ankle-length, and less sweeping-the-floor-length. This one is perfect for formals, if you don't feel like being the most fabulous person there (why not?), and probably what I would generally choose for drinks (because I do like being the most fabulously overdressed person at any given occasion).
- Pinafore dresses
These are the ones that you wear over a shirt or a polo neck sweater instead of a day dress in winter when you feel like being layered. They're awesome. They remind everyone of '20s school girls. This can only be a good thing.
But these are not the only sorts of dresses. These are not essentials. Obviously, we all want to have as many of each of these as possible, but there are certain Dresses every woman must own.
The Little Black Dress is usually a cocktail dress (hence "little"). It's what you wear to New Years', to drinks, to dinners out, to the theatre, to...well, everything, really. It's gorgeous. It's black. It's stylish and simple and you wear it with killer heels and sparkly jewellery and eye shadow in fantastic colours. It shows off legs and shoulders and possibly back and cleavage, too. It is, frankly, essential.
The Revenge Dress is a tricky one. It is the dress you wear to the first event your new ex might attend. This dress gives you confidence; it makes you fantastic. It shows just exactly the right amount of flesh, accentuates all the bits of you you love, flatters all the bits you love slightly less, and is utterly unforgettable. This is the dress so stunning that every man who sees you in it loves you instantly and every guy who had the chance to be with you forever and wasted it instantly regrets it. Annoyingly, it can vary from ex to ex, and you can only wear it as a revenge dress, so it doesn't get much use - because, obviously, any guy who saw you in your previous revenge dress will hang onto you for as long as he can (provided you have plenty of photos of yourself in said revenge dress, to refresh his memory).
The "What? I just threw this on!" Dress, which you insist you've "had for years" (you probably have) but which you know looks fabulous. This one is not so much an evening dress as a during the day dress - it's for when you accidentally happen to be getting coffee at his favourite coffee shop at the time you know he'll be needing a fix; it's for when you trip into the library to pick up a book you need right now that you've been putting off getting until you know he's working there. It's the one you wear when you're going to see him with the new girlfriend and you want to look stunning without looking like you've put any effort in.
The "Covers All Sins" Dress for when you're feeling unattractive and possibly slightly bloated and you need something extremely flattering and bright to draw everyone's attention away from your complexion and general demeanour. The less said about this one, the better...it is necessary, but we like to pretend it doesn't exist.
The Princess Dress makes you feel like a princess. What's more, it makes everyone around you treat you like one. This is the one you get given free cocktails in. This is the one you accessorise with a tiara.
We will add more to this as we go on and discover more dresses we cannot do without. Obviously, every woman needs a cocktail dress, a ball gown, and a party dress, at least, plus a couple of day dresses or sun dresses...but these are less specific.
While we're on the subject of being dressed up: the walk of shame. Please, if you're going to do this, at least make sure the dress you do it in is one that will still look good after being left in a crumpled heap all night, and makes it obvious that whatever it was you attended last night, it was one hell of a party. The closer to white-tie equivalent you get, the more points you get. Remember: everyone does this once while at university. Make your once fantastic.
Love,
Felicity xxx
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